The Buddha and the Borderline Quotes

Borderline personality disorder is no longer a hidden rarity in the field of mental illness. Both schizophrenia and bipolar disorder tonight almost make up the amount of people who are living with borderline. Therapeutically, borderline personality disorder is one of the most difficult personality disorders to treat. Often, psychiatrists and psychologists or other professionals in the field have a hard time diagnosing someone with borderline because the patient will be unwilling to receive that information. It is nearly impossible to treat someone for a disorder they refuse to believe they have. On the inside, someone with borderline is aware that their emotions and behaviors are out of control. They feel a constant fear of themselves and that their behaviors will cause people to leave. Still, they continue to act in ways which push others, until they eventually do.

Personal Stories

Metrics details. The concept of recovery in borderline personality disorder BPD is not well defined. Whilst clinical approaches emphasise symptom reduction and functioning, consumers advocate for a holistic approach. The consumer perspective on recovery and comparisons of individuals at varying stages have been minimally explored. Fourteen narratives of a community sample of adult women with a self-reported diagnosis of BPD, were analysed using qualitative interpretative phenomenological analysis to understand recovery experiences.

Individuals were at opposite ends of the recovery continuum seven recovered and seven not recovered.

The Buddha and the Borderline: My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder Through Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Buddhism, and Online Dating.

As a writer who speaks about narcissistic abuse emotional abuse and manipulation perpetrated by malignant narcissists , I am often asked what the differences are between having an abusive relationship with someone with Borderline Personality Disorder vs. Narcissistic Personality Disorder , or those who display borderline traits vs. While these are both Cluster B disorders that have some overlap, there are similarities as well as differences that set these disorders apart.

This list may not apply to borderlines with co-morbid NPD or vice versa. Those with co-morbid personality disorders tend to display traits from both and will often share more similarities than differences. It is also important to note that women are more likely than men to be diagnosed as borderline, while men are more likely to be diagnosed as narcissists, which may be due to a bias driven by cultural stereotypes. Thus, neither disorder should be presumed as something that is gender-specific: there can be female narcissists as well as male borderlines.

Additionally, while this article focuses on abusive behavior, not all borderlines or narcissists may be abusive. Depending on where they fall on the spectrum of their respective disorders as well as their responsiveness to treatment, individual cases may vary from the listed traits and behaviors. When they are not being their usual charming selves, narcissists tend to display flat affect, feel a sense of emotional numbness and experience perpetual boredom, which causes them to be on the lookout for new supply people that can provide them with validation, praise and admiration.

Their most intense emotions tend to be envy and rage. Narcissists also engage in something similar to splitting known as idealization and devaluation, where they are prone to putting their loved ones on a pedestal, only to swiftly knock them off. The idealization-devaluation-discard cycle with a narcissist is often not an emotionally charged or emotionally motivated cycle as it is in splitting, but rather a more manufactured pattern that enables narcissistic abusers to move forward to other sources of narcissistic supply.

It is commonly assumed that both disorders stem from trauma.

Borderline Personality Disorder and Addiction

Borderline personality disorder is characterized by poor self-image, a feeling of emptiness, and great difficulty coping with being alone. People with this disorder have highly reactive and intense moods, and unstable relationships. Their behavior can be impulsive.

People with Borderline Personality Disorder sometimes feel like children on a perpetual hunt for the boogeyman. Crippled by feelings of.

Borderline personal disorder BPD relationships are often chaotic, intense, and conflict-laden. This can be especially true for romantic BPD relationships. If you are considering starting a relationship with someone with BPD, or are in one now, you need to educate yourself about the disorder and what to expect. Likewise, if you have been diagnosed with BPD, it can be helpful to think about how your symptoms have affected your dating life and romantic relationships.

In essence, people with BPD are often terrified that others will leave them. However, they can also shift suddenly to feeling smothered and fearful of intimacy, which leads them to withdraw from relationships. The result is a constant back-and-forth between demands for love or attention and sudden withdrawal or isolation. Another BPD symptom that particularly impacts relationships is called abandonment sensitivity. The emotions may result in frantic efforts to avoid abandonment, such as pleading, public scenes, and even physically preventing the other person from leaving.

Another common complaint of loved ones in borderline relationships is lying. For example, if a loved one with BPD is engaging in impulsive behaviors like going on spending sprees, it can cause major stress within the family.

The lived experience of recovery in borderline personality disorder: a qualitative study

People with borderline personality disorder BPD often have rocky relationships, both romantic and platonic. Romantic relationships present a unique set of challenges for people with BPD and for their partners. For example, a person with BPD may be affectionate and doting, but within a few hours, their emotional state may switch. They may feel smothered or overwhelmed. This can lead them to push away the partner they had just been drawing closer.

The Buddha and the Borderline: My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder through Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, Buddhism and Online Dating.

Personality Disorders. Kiera Van Gelder’s first suicide attempt at the age of twelve marked the onset of her struggles with drug addiction, depression, post-traumatic stress, self-harm, and chaotic romantic relationships-all of which eventually led to doctors’ belated diagnosis of borderline personality disorder twenty years later. The Buddha and the Borderline is a window into this mysterious and debilitating condition, an unblinking portrayal of one woman’s fight against the emotional devastation of borderline personality disorder.

This haunting, intimate memoir chronicles both the devastating period that led to Kiera’s eventual diagnosis and her inspirational recovery through therapy, Buddhist spirituality, and a few online dates gone wrong. Kiera’s story sheds light on the private struggle to transform suffering into compassion for herself and others, and is essential reading for all seeking to understand what it truly means to recover and reclaim the desire to live. Order this Item. Add to Wishlist. Hoffman Ph.

Kiera Van Gelder, MFA, is an artist, educator, and writer diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. She currently lives in Massachusetts at a Buddhist meditation center.

Most accurate article on BPD we have read—kudos!

Donate Now. Our mission is to replace stigma and discrimination with hope and optimism. Our purpose is to create a community to support recovery, provide easy to read, up to date, research-based information and facilitate BPD informed care. We have annotated over 70 research articles and papers into key categories for easy access. BPD Community has collated a wide range of resources available for everyone, from other organisations, to YouTube clips and other resources.

This is a real problem for all affected by BPD.

Keys ; Leaving the dysregulation zone ; No blow jobs on the first date ; Empty account of one woman’s struggle with borderline personality disorder (BPD)-a.

Few things are more intoxicating than a partner who is brimming with infatuation, or more inexplicable than to watch this same person become resentful and start disengaging for no apparent reason. In a relationship with a person suffering with the traits of Borderline Personality Disorder BPD these extreme highs and lows are commonplace. Your partner may emotionally discard you or become abusive and leave you to feel confused and broken-hearted.

Or you may have invested yourself in the relationship and all the latest communication and relationship tools and now feel the relationship has continued to erode and you have no more to give. So they leave you – or you break up — or one of you finally decides not to reconcile, yet again. If any of this sounds like your relationship, please read on. Disengaging from this type of intense relationship can be difficult.

Rationally, you most likely understand that leaving is the healthiest thing you can do now, yet your emotional attachment is undeniable. You find yourself hopelessly trapped by your own desires to rekindle a relationship that you know isn’t healthy, and in fact, may not even be available to you. We wonder if they ever really loved us and how we could have been so easily discarded. Our emotions range from hurt, to disbelief, to anger. This guide explores the struggles of breaking away from this type of relationship and offers suggestions on how you can make it easier on yourself and your partner.

Sure they are special and this is a very significant loss for you – but the depth of your struggles has a lot more to do with the complexity of the relationship bond than the person. In some important way this relationship saved or rejuvenated you.

The Lifetime Course of Borderline Personality Disorder

Triggers are particular events or situations that immediately exacerbate or intensify symptoms. These events can be external or internal. The most common BPD triggers are relationship triggers. Many people with BPD have a high sensitivity to abandonment and can experience intense fear and anger, impulsivity, self-harm, and even suicidality in relationship events that make them feel rejected, criticised or abandoned.

Does someone close to you suffer from borderline personality disorder? of a qualified therapist can make a huge difference to your loved one’s recovery. BPD​.

The truth behind arguably the most misunderstood mental illness of our time. Despite being more common than schizophrenia and bipolar disorder combined, borderline personality disorder remains one of the least understood and most stigmatized mental illnesses. People with BPD often harbor an intense fear of being abandoned by the ones they love, suffer from chronic feelings of emptiness, engage in suicidal behavior or threats, and have difficulty controlling anger.

Their emotions undergo rapid changes that they have difficulty controlling, and an innocuous comment can sometimes spark an angry outburst. This discomfort can lead borderlines to self-mutilate, which sometimes provides them with a sense of release. Or they may engage in some other type of impulsive, self-destructive behavior, like spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving or binge eating. Their unstable emotions, like all BPD symptoms, are a result of a psychiatric illness that stems from neurological imbalances and environmental factors.

Loving a Borderline

Millions of readers rely on HelpGuide for free, evidence-based resources to understand and navigate mental health challenges. Please donate today to help us protect, support, and save lives. People with borderline personality disorder BPD tend to have major difficulties with relationships, especially with those closest to them. Their wild mood swings, angry outbursts, chronic abandonment fears, and impulsive and irrational behaviors can leave loved ones feeling helpless, abused, and off balance.

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Despite the great numbers of people suffering from the disorder, and the sometimes serious effect of its presence upon the partners of people with BPD, there is little information available for those partners in handling the mental and physical abuse that may occur because of the illness. This document itself will not address those issues; rather, it is a quick guide intended to cover the possible consequences of leaving a partner with BPD, with collective pointers from people who have gone through the experience themselves.

This is necessary, as many of the traits of BPD are distinctly antagonistic to peaceful settlements or simple partings. If your troubled partner displays any of the following characteristics, you may be dealing with BPD and need to know how its traits have a particular impact on your relationship:. Relationships with others are intense and unstable. The person will go through frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment by others, and express mood instability and inappropriate anger.

There may also be identity uncertainty concerning self-image, long-term goals or career choice, sexual orientation, choice of friends, and values. People with this disorder tend to see things in terms of extremes, either all good or all bad. They view themselves as victims of circumstances and take little responsibility for themselves or for their problems.

You may have come across this document because you already knew or suspected BPD in your partner. Do not attempt to diagnose them, but be aware that if you recognize any of the above traits, or already know the diagnosis of BPD, then you should cautiously assume that all these traits, even ones you have not yet seen, may co-exist, impeding or endangering your attempt to leave the relationship.

The following guide assumes a “worse case” scenario, but, as with any human disorder, there are obviously individual variations with some of the characteristics more prominent and others less so.

Pt. 1. The Impossible Connection: Loving Someone w/ Borderline Personality Disorder. See Warning